Whereas I Shamelessly Exploit My Husband’s Injury To Achieve Only Modest Fame

blog - tom's foot

Tom’s foot with one sad toe (by Benjamin)

Our local alternative weekly newspaper, the  Mountain Xpress, has a feature called Blog Log, where reporter Brian Postelle chooses certain local blogs and a particular post on those blogs to highlight for the week.  My blog’s been chosen several times, and I’ve got to tell you—it makes me inordinately happy.  Perhaps I’m a little silly, but it’s really nice to be recognized, however modest the fame may be.  It is particularly gratifying because, although we have a very active blogging community in the area, I don’t really fit with the general blogging crowd here.  I’m sure they’re all very nice, but they are a hip, savvy, and trendy crowd.  And I…well…I am not.  So I don’t fit in.

Anyway, it’s been a while since Brian mentioned Blue Ridge Blue Collar Girl on Blog Log, and it’s got me a little down in the dumps.  The truth is, the only posts of mine he seems to like are the funny posts.  And, well, these days I’m feeling about as funny as fire ants at a picnic.  As funny as a big zit on prom night.  As funny as screen doors on a submarine.  You get the idea. 

Because Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man and I have been a little anxious lately.  Big cuts are being made where he works, and he is still classified as a “temporary” worker.  He is also the most recently hired.  So we’re feeling a mite vulnerable.  Plus, they’ve cut his $12/hour pay and gone way up on our insurance, while our benefits have been sharply reduced.   So we got the poor-boy-beans-for-supper-again blues, and I just don’t feel like being funny.

So here’s where you will see me shamelessly exploit Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man just so I can maybe be in Blog Log again.  You see, Brian Postelle also has a fascination for blogger injury stories.  He said so himself here. And I offer as proof the fact that he featured my post about the time Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man stopped bleeding with a condiment, not one, but two times on Blog Log.   So here I present the sad, sad story of Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man and his tragic toe injury:

Since Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man works as a maintenance man, I worry a right good bit about his safety.  He has a lot of roof leak experience, so he’s the man they turn to when there’s a persistent leak.  So he spends a lot of time on ladders and roofs (I always want to say “rooves.”)   He likes it up there, but it makes me nervous, especially considering our luck for the past twenty years. 

So it finally happened—he got hurt about a month ago.  But it wasn’t falling off a roof.  Nope, so often it’s the little things that trip you up—in this case, an extension cord that he tripped over.  He then, in regaining his balance, managed to somehow come down hard on his toe and sprained it badly.  He came home limping like Grandpappy Amos on The Real McCoys.  (Does anybody else remember that show?)   When he showed me his toe, I got that weird chest-tightening I only get when someone I love hurts themselves.  It was one ugly digit, let me tell you.   Completely black—almost gangrenous looking—like his toe was going to wither and fall off in a matter of days. 

And, unfortunately, he is afraid to take time off from work (See Paragraph 3 above).  So he’s been gimping about for a while now, and while he’s some better (and his toe is unwithered and firmly attached), it still hurts quite a lot.  So, really, I’m not just posting this to get on Blog Log.  Certainly not.  I’d truly be grateful if anybody has some ideas to help a seriously-sprained toe.

But…there is no escaping the fact that I’m shamelessly exploiting my husband’s injury and milking it for all it’s worth just to see my name in print.  I’m kind of like that kid in grade school who was always raising their hand and waving it frantically to be recognized. Desperate, I tell you.  Heck, I’d even resort to excessive flattery to see my name in print. And it’s not even my real name.  That’s the saddest thing. I mean, my name isn’t really Blue Ridge Blue Collar Girl, of course.  It’s Beth, with a “B”.  Like Brian, with a “B”.  As in, Brian Postelle, the very fine reporter and creator of the entertaining and delightful Blog Log in that most outstanding and venerable newspaper, the  Mountain Xpress

That’s Beth.  With a “B”.  As in blog.  As in bold and brazen. As in Blue Ridge Blue Collar Girl. 

:-)

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20 Responses to “Whereas I Shamelessly Exploit My Husband’s Injury To Achieve Only Modest Fame”

  1. wesleyjeanne Says:

    He’s only mentioned mine a couple of times, but not since Christmas. I’m guessing he’s not into stories of my children or dying dog.

    This ought to get him for sure–funny as usual!

    I do hope Tom is on the mend soon and I continue to say prayers that the job thing stabilizes.

  2. Pat Says:

    Grandpappy Amos…roars like a lion but he’s gentle as a lamb…loved that show!

  3. jayne Says:

    Well, that ought to get a mention! :c) I LOVE Benjamin’s drawing of the sad toe..lolol! Hope it’s fully better soon, and that Brian sees fit to let the world know about your talented toe writing.

  4. june Says:

    No advice other than “grin and bear it” :-) Cute drawing!

  5. colleen Says:

    That’s a riot. Not the broken toe but the hint dropping to Brian. I think it’s cool that your paper features bloggers and I love the picture that Ben drew! This little piggy cried wee wee…

  6. Lora Says:

    Brian, Brian, Brian…so post this already!

  7. Judy Says:

    Gosh Beth, I don’t know what to tell you either. Maybe WD-40?? It seems to work on everything else!! lol. TW loves that thing about wee-wee-wee and is always sticking his foot up to me so I will pull on his toes and say that to him. I doubt your husband would appreciate someone doing that to the swollen toe! Maybe, he could use a popsicle stick and put a sprint on it to hold it in one place??? I hope you get in the paper. This is a great post and, yes, I remember The Real McCoys….

  8. Betsy Says:

    Gee Beth, that’s just neat that your newspaper features blog posts… I’ve never heard of that. I hope that they recognize you this time –since you dropped so many hints. if they don’t, let me know and I’ll stomp on his toe really hard!!!!

    On the serious side, the economy today is rough. So many folks are out of a job. I hope your sweetie (even with his sore toe) can keep his job… It’s just so sad what is going on in our country .

    Love and HUGS,
    Betsy

  9. eemilla Says:

    Ouch! I hope your husband’s toe gets to feeling better, but I don’t have any tried and true remedies. I was once told that arnica works as a good topical pain reliever; I believe I saw it at the French Broad Food Co-op. Although ice and Tylenol probably work just as well.

    We feel your pain with the health insurance; my husband’s employer stopped paying for any portion of it, and then the next week he lost his part time job.

    Good luck on your Blog Log recognition!

  10. Sharon Says:

    The newspaper should have your blog in it every single time you write, in my absolutely right-on opinion.

  11. CountryDew Says:

    Sorry to hear about the work situation – it is tough!

    On the toe, you could try these things:

    Soak it in Epson salt
    Rub it in Vick’s Vapo Rub before bed and sleep with a sock on it. That will pull some of the soreness out of it.
    Tape it up next to the digit next to it

    I’m not a doctor and take no responsibility of you try any of these things!

  12. Jeff Says:

    I’m sorry (but not surprised) to learn of Tom’s employment situation. AT&T’s Southwestern Bell states have been working without a contract since April 4th and that has never happened before. AT&T is playing really hard ball so morale is low and anxiety is high in the rest of AT&T as we wait for our contracts to expire.

    Unfortunately, I can’t offer any encouragement about sprained toes. I sprained my right little toe some months ago and it is still a bit tender – it seems as though those types of injuries just take a long time to heal.

  13. Benjamin Says:

    Thank you, thank you, everyone for supporting my decision to be a starving blog artist…with a specialty in sad toes. Lol, just kidding. I think everyone but the rich dude at the top of the economic pyramid is hurting right now. But we really can’t afford to lose a job right now, so I’ll be praying for that. Daddy is a hard worker, just like you, and he even helped me load up the car when I came home for break–he shouldn’t have! Good luck to all…

  14. ginger Says:

    Very funny! Seems like humor has a way of coming out even in very unfunny times. My mom would always hurt her toes. Seems like she just gimped about for a time and then they would heal up pretty quickly. I double Anita’s Epson salt recommendation. Let’s hope we all get smarter and stronger as we look for ways to make $ stretch!

  15. Clara Melvin Says:

    Oh Beth, you are funny. If this one doesn’t get in the paper, there’s something wrong with Brian! Don’t forget to let us know when it is published! As far as the toe, I don’t know. I don’t reckon there’s much you can do for sprained toes.

  16. Debi Kelly Van Cleave Says:

    I thought you were very hip…

    And you’re funny. He better put this in or I’m not reading his blog ever again!

  17. Going Crunchy Says:

    Ouuuucchhhh! I realate to this post in more ways then one. (First off, especially about the beans – even if mine are more soy! I think I’m leaving little pieces of my heart here and there as we make the changes we need to in my family – and I appreciate the comments on my blog – as right now I alternate between relief and crying.) Anyway – my husband did the same thing a few weeks ago by hitting stairs wrong in flip flops. It looked nasty for a while, but now o.k. I also had toe traume years ago – and sadly it left me with a type of arthritus (sp?) which really bites considering I’m in my 30’s! Best hopes for a full toe recovery – Shannon

  18. luckypennies Says:

    It’s quite a “feet” that you’ve been on the blog log. And if you don’t get on it again, that would be “toe”-tally ridiculous. :D

  19. Edgy Mama Says:

    Have you met any of us? I adore my local blogging buds, but the adjectives “hip, savvy, and trendy” just aren’t the first three to come to mind when I think of us.

  20. blueridgebluecollargirl Says:

    Hi, Edgy Mama. Well, I was actually speaking in relative terms. Relative to me, Asheville bloggers as a whole seem pretty hip and savvy, but then probably pretty much anyone would seem hip and savvy next to me. Perhaps I should have used the term “edgy,” which is often used collectively with hip, trendy, and savvy. :-) I certainly wasn’t using those terms in a pejorative sense—-there’s nothing wrong with being hip and edgy. It’s just that I am so NOT. I was curious, though, Edgy Mama. Are you saying that you don’t consider yourself or any of your blogging friends savvy? Or hip? The thing is, so many of your blogs (and your column in the Mountain Xpress) READ hip and savvy, whether you intend it or not. While my blog is about as hip as a leisure suit at a polka convention.

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