There’s No Place Like Home

Well…hi there.  How are y’all?  I’ve missed all my blogging buddies a lot this past month and a half while we lived the nomadic life (mostly without internet).  I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to write, but we’ve had so much that demanded our immediate attention that my poor little blog got short shrift.  I look forward to having time to come visit your homes in cyberspace again and to catch up on your lives. 

Part of the time, we were on Jupiter.  No, really, it’s true.  The little rental house where we spent several weeks was on Jupiter Road.  The landlords lived next door, and they gave us our first taste of the wonderful hospitality of the people around here.   First was a bottle of wine, then sparkling juice, then freshly cooked Vietnamese spring rolls and dumplings, in celebration of the Vietnamese New Year.  I’ve got to say, it beat my favorite New Year’s dish, Hoppin’ John, by a long shot.

Us?  We’re doing okay.  A little weary from endless days of nothing but work without a day off and still a little stressed out with worry, but we’re thankful to finally have a home.  We’re working like mad to get our new home ready so we can finally free our stuff from storage.  We’ve just bought a ten-year-old doublewide that needs a fair amount of cleaning, repairing, and replacing.  The folks that lived here before liked blue—a lot.  Blue carpet, blue countertops in kitchen and baths, white and blue vinyl, and some blue walls.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that—it’s just that not a single thing we own goes with the blue, as most of our things are earth-toned.  Right now, we’re ripping out navy blue carpet and replacing it with laminate.  Of course, we’re doing the work ourselves and racing to get the floor down before we have to unload our things.  So, most of the repairing and replacing and painting will have to wait until we have more time and money.  But that’s okay—we’re just happy to be here.

So little time—so much to talk about!  First of all, just let me say how much I appreciate all your thoughtful comments, notes, and letters of concern.  It means a great deal to me to have friends that not only care, but actually miss me when I’m gone!  And let me especially thank June, Bonnie, Sara, and Country Dew for kindly mentioning me in your blogs, even in my long absence from mine.  I appreciate it.  I am also grateful to Jennifer and Shannon for their kind offers of assistance. 

Our move?  Well, it was hard…but then, that’s pretty typical for us.  We apparently have some sort of curse that kicks in the minute I call to reserve the U-Haul-It truck. Don’t believe me?   Here’s just a partial list of incidents from past moves:  Auto accident, severe kidney stone attack and kidney infection, dog bite, ice storms, illness, car breakdowns, truck breakdowns, (and subsequent nervous breakdowns).  Allow me to share a small excerpt from the Most Recent Example of The Moving Curse:  My Exciting Drive Down the Mountain.  Regular readers may recall that right before our move, my Camry’s transmission suddenly refused to go in any direction but forward.  Well, we still haven’t got that fixed, so I was a little nervous as we set out for our hundred-mile trip down to our new home.  Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man told me not to worry—I could follow him and he’d be right in front of me if anything went awry.  (I should mention here that he was driving our other car, a twenty-six-year-old Volvo with about a gazillion miles on it.  Oh yeah…I felt very reassured)

The first part of the trip wasn’t so bad—we were on the Blue Ridge Parkway which was pretty much deserted, so I began to relax. But alas, the Parkway was closed ahead because of winter weather, so we exited on a road that I wasn’t too familiar with.  About that time, I looked down to see that one of my dashboard warning lights was on.  Oh dear, was that the Check Oil light?  I’d always heard that if that light comes on, you must pull over right away or your goose is cooked.  Or at least your engine is cooked, which I’m pretty sure is worse than a cooked goose.  So I began to search desperately for a place to pull over that wouldn’t require my Camry to go in reverse.  The road we were on seemed to be lined with one narrow driveway after another, but then I saw a Realty that had one parking space out front that ran parallel to the road.  I swerved into the space, turned off my ignition, and sat there taking deep breaths.  I saw the folks in the Realty peering out the window at me, and it was then I realized that I was in some sort of special “Realtor of the Month” parking space. I gave the realtors a weak smile and waved.  About that time, Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man, who had finally realized I wasn’t behind him, returned to screech to a stop behind me.  The realtors began to point.  I jumped out of the car, forgetting that I had unzipped my jeans for comfort while driving.  Of course, my fly promptly fell completely open, exposing the tattered, desperation underwear I was wearing.  (You know, the kind you wear when you haven’t washed clothes for several days and you’re down to the bottom of your underwear drawer? These particular ones were polka-dotted.)  I whipped around and zipped up my pants, pretty certain that the realtors were probably now dialing the police on their cell phones. Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man leaned into my car and turned the key, peering at the dashboard. 

“That’s not the Check Oil Light, it’s the Check Engine Light,” he said.  I looked again.  Somehow the little picture under “Check” had looked liked an oil can to me in my distress, but now I could clearly see that it was a little car with its hood open.  The light was likely on because of my transmission problem.  I slapped my perspiring forehead (feeling like a dolt), got back in the car, waved at the realtors again, and  beat a hasty retreat.

Here’s where I should mention that Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man ALWAYS takes the scenic route and that he tends to choose the twistiest, curviest, corkscrew of a mountain road he can find.  Well, this time was no exception.  The road he chose was pretty much nothing but continuous S-curves, with a sheer rock face on one side and a yawning precipice on the other.  I enjoy this road when I’m a passenger and he’s driving, but when you have a load beside you in the front seat stacked to the ceiling that falls over every single time you careen to the right which on this road was about every five seconds, a twisting mountain road quickly loses its charm.  So there I was driving on this crazy mountain road with my left hand because my right hand was holding the load on the front seat to prevent it from falling on top of me.  That’s when I heard the sound.   Ssssssss.  Like air escaping from a tire. Or perhaps the sound some engine hose which is crucial to the running of the car makes when it is failing.  I began to hyperventilate again.  The road we were on had almost no place to pull over.  The weird thing is, I only heard the sound when I steered sharply to the left, which on this road was every five seconds.  My hands began to sweat which made driving with only my left hand even harder.  What was that sound?!!   Ssssss….Ssssss…Ssssss   I pictured my tire suddenly blowing out and my car flying into the great beyond, sort of like Thelma and Louise…but different somehow… while Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man drove on blissfully unaware.  I began to wrack my brain, trying to remember if The Car Guys on NPR had ever talked about Ssssssss sounds.

 It was then that I noticed that my car smelled a lot like flowers.  I sniffed.  To be specific, it smelled like the Australian Paw Flower, much like that contained in Aussie Sun-Touched Shine Hair Spray. 

           

Yep, you guessed it.  Every time I went to the left, a big book in the laundry basket next to me was falling on top of the hairspray nozzle, then falling away when I went to the right.  I began to laugh maniacally and opened my windows, as the fumes were by then threatening to asphyxiate me.  By the time we got to the bottom of the mountain, my hairspray can was empty and I was feeling a little light-headed.

I’ll spare you the gruesome details of the rest of the trip.  I’m sure this was quite enough. And I’ll tell you more about The DoubleWide For Which We Paid an Utterly Ridiculous Sum later. The important thing is:  we made it, we’re here, and we have a home where I can see my beloved rolling hills and mountains and the glory of the ever-changing sky.  For that, I am grateful.  And I am grateful for you, my kind readers and friends, who actually read my sometimes long-winded stories with patience and understanding and who miss me when I’m gone.  Thank you. 

I’m sorry to say that my posting will still be rather sporadic for a while, at least until we can get this place spiffed up, spackled, and spic and span.  I also want to make some time to read about what’s going on in your lives—I’ve missed that a lot.  I’ll tell you all about our new place soon.  Until then, here are a couple of pictures I took from our new yard and porch.

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Here’s the sunrise from our front porch.

 

first-rainbow-10-blog.jpg

We were thrilled to see this rainbow a couple of days ago.  Ariel (aka Lucky Pennies) stiched together an amazing panoramic shot from the pictures of this rainbow she snapped while home on Spring Break.  I expect she’ll post it on her blog very, very soon.

after-the-rain-at-sunset-blog.jpg

I took this one just last evening at sunset.  The skies were beginning to clear after a gray day of fog and rain.  The sun made its first appearance of the day before setting in a blaze of glory.

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14 Responses to “There’s No Place Like Home”

  1. luckypennies Says:

    I’m happy you’re finally back in the blogosphere. The hairspray thing was hilarious. :D I can understand why you might have flipped out a little. I would have too. Your photos are beautiful. And yes, I will be posting soon. Lord knows I need to put something up.

    I miss y’all already and can’t wait to see you again soon.

  2. CountryDew Says:

    Glad to see you back and posting. What a view you have now! That is exquisite. You will enjoy that once you are settled.

    Hope the unboxing and remodeling goes well.

  3. marion Says:

    Oh, you are up on top of the world! Beautiful. Loved your drive story. Hope you get settled in soon. Also hope you can somehow enlarge your Blog type. These old eyes keep squinching…

  4. Shannon Says:

    Yeah! I kept checking every day to see if you were back. It’s so entirely weird to worry about somebody you’ve never met.

    I was laughing the whole time reading your story, not at your misfortune- – -but I relate! I know you read the post about shoulder break, blow-out tire, etc. Read the one a little later about winning $14,500. If you can get through the cruddy times you are bound to get a “rainbow.” Looks like you got one!

    I want to camp on your front lawn. Amazing! Glad you’re back. Shannon

  5. June Says:

    Your view looks gorgeous. I’m so glad. Your drive sounded like too much fun (not) for me! Thankfully, all turned out well.

  6. Bella Says:

    Glad you’re back!

  7. bluemountainmama Says:

    oh my gosh, beth…. your moving stories!!! sounds like my road trips.

    i was rolling with the hairspray bit. i am glad you are finally getting settled… and what a gorgeous view! the mountains can just about make up for any bad things, can’t they? to come home to that view every evening and hear all the wild noises that come along with it.

    looking forward to hearing more when you get settled.

  8. Long time, no see « Lucky Pennies Says:

    [...] The lovely lady sprinting in the corner is my mom, a.k.a. Blue Ridge Blue Collar Girl, running exuberantly to take her own excellent photo, which you can view here.  [...]

  9. Bonnie Jacobs Says:

    “… short shrift … front seat stacked to the ceiling … S-curves … Ssssss….Ssssss…Ssssss … spiffed up, spackled, and spic and span …”

    People will say, “She was in her sibilant period.” You need to start writing THE book using an outline like this, which starts with the book’s title:

    * * *

    THE MOVING CURSE

    Part 1 : My Exciting Drive Down the Mountain

    … the curse kicks in
    … no way but forward
    … the episode of the unzipped jeans
    … the case of the desperation underwear
    … Ssssss….Ssssss…Ssssssizzling sound of hairspray

    Part 2 : Looking Back at Other Exciting Moves

    … the auto accident
    … the attack of the kidney stone
    … the dog bite
    … the ice storms
    … the illness
    … the car breakdowns
    … the truck breakdowns
    … the subsequent nervous breakdowns

    Part 3 : Coming to the End of the Rainbow

    Did I mention you should use “The Rainbow” photo for both the dust jacket and the frontispiece? Yep, you seem to have followed the rainbow home.

    * * *

    I’m so glad you’re back! Thanks for visiting Bonnie’s Books. I didn’t come up with the question “which matters more, the truth or the appearance of the truth?” I got that from the dust jacket or from something I read about the book. In the case of Delambre and Mechain, truth was less important than the appearance of truth.

  10. colleen Says:

    So much adventure. It’s good to catch up. The hairspray story will linger with me for a while. So will that sunset.

  11. Benjamin Says:

    You are one funny woman–although I don’t rightly appreciate your shortchanging Volvos and Hoppin’ John. I love you and miss our talks on the porch and at the dining room table.

  12. Our Guardian Angel Has Silvery Wings « Blue Ridge Blue Collar Girl Says:

    [...] But in the course of bringing in groceries, putting up groceries, eating groceries, etc., I forgot.  And there she lay, in her soft little tissue bed, alone and forgotten and unable to flap her silvery wings.  The next day, Tom moved my Camry to change the oil.  Afterwards, when he started the car to put it back in its parking place, it refused to go in reverse and refused to do so until much, much later when we paid the nice transmission man two thousand dollars to fix it.  Perhaps you remember my writing about it here and here. [...]

  13. eemilla Says:

    I laughed out loud about your polka dots! I always reserved the elastic waisted pants or skirts for driving.

  14. eemilla Says:

    Oh! I forget to mention how gorgeous your sunrise photo is.

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