If you click on my “About” link, you’ll see where I mention that I started my blog in 2007, in part, as an attempt to re-awaken my muse. Going through repeated hardships can sure suck the juice out of you, and that’s pretty much what happened to me—my well of inspiration went bone dry. The last straw was when my abusive ex-husband’s third wife contacted me out of the blue in late 2006 and asked if I’d help her. I must admit—I didn’t want to do it, but I did because they had a six-year-old son together, and he was the one who was suffering most.
Helping her (and she was a lovely person) was even more intense and difficult than I thought it would be. I relived not only my own abuse, but I heard of the egregious lies he had told about me. I don’t know why the outrageousness of his lies surprised me—I certainly knew he was capable of it—but it did. It seems I am constantly blindsided by the depth of meanness that people are capable of. I never seem to learn.
Anyway, I’m not sorry I did what I did because she finally found the courage to leave him, and she and her son are doing very, very well now. But going through that, on top of everything else, somehow killed the spark in me. My creative spirit was a dried husk of a thing. So I decided to start a blog, hoping that being forced to write often might squeeze out whatever juice was left.
And it did. I learned that I could write, that my muse was only sleeping, not dead, and that there were people who actually wanted to read what I wrote. Imagine that! But even better, I’ve made connections through my blogging that have helped to sustain me—in so many ways. Your kind words not only have given me more confidence in my writing, they have restored some of my faith in the goodness of people. And, oh! how I needed that.
So…thanks, y’all. Thanks especially to those who have stuck by me as my family has gone through yet more hardships—your kind comments have meant a great deal. And I’m thankful, too, to those who read before, even if they no longer do. It’s always difficult to know why folks stop reading your blog, but I’ll have to say that I’ve grieved every reader I have lost, because I do think of y’all as friends. But no hard feelings—I know they had their reasons and I respect that.
But my heartfelt thanks to you, dear friends, who continue to read my rambling, raving, and ranting writing. And who put up with silly puns and possibly excessive alliteration. 🙂 To y’all—who continue to help me believe both in myself and in the kindness of people. I am deeply grateful for you.