(9) Thirty Days of Grateful Praise: Mufflers

Yes, I know it’s a tailpipe. But it’s attached to a muffler. Besides, mufflers are ugly.

Okay, you’re probably thinking, “Gee whiz, Blue Ridge Blue Collar Girl, this is the weirdest Thing to Be Thankful For yet!  And, if you don’t mind my saying so, girl, you’ve had a few weird ones already this week, heh heh…”

Yeah, I know.  But, as it so often is, you don’t fully appreciate certain things until there is an absence of them in your life.   And there is most definitely an absence of mufflers in my neighborhood.

It’s been that way since we moved here, but this summer has been the worst one yet for atrocious automotive auditory assault.   I’m not sure why—perhaps teenagers out of school—but it would seem that the majority of motorists on the busy road in front of our house are mufflerless.

I’ve heard there’s a law against that in North Carolina, but it would seem that it’s never enforced.  I’ve often wondered what would happen if I called the law and said I’d like to press charges.

“Yes, officer.  I’d like to report an ear assault and battery.”

“Someone assaulted your ears, ma’am?”

“Umm…well, in a manner of speaking, yes.  My ears have been…hurt.”

Yeah, I bet THAT would go over real well.

One of the guys Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man works with drives his Harley to work every day.   He is one of the Intentionally Mufflerless, and the sound of his motorcycle is deafening.  He wears ear plugs while he’s on the road, so he won’t damage his ears.  He seems to not grasp the irony of this.  Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man asked him, “What about the other people on the road having to listen to that?”

He said, “Well, this way, those people will hear me coming and they won’t drive their cars out in front of me.”

Umm…seriously, dude.  Anybody could hear you coming from five miles away.  And I don’t think that’s really necessary for vehicular avoidance.

Sigh.  I feel sometimes like screaming at them, “Please, people…for the love of all things holy—GET A MUFFLER!” But somehow, I think that wouldn’t do much good. My words would almost certainly fall on, well…deaf ears.  I’m kind of resigned to it, really.  About all I can do is wear ear plugs myself.  Either that or I’ll finally go deaf from the constant noise.  Sometimes that seems like the only possibility for relief.

So I’d like to say that I’m thankful for, not only mufflers, but the many mercifully mufflered amongst you.  I thank you with all my heart.  And my poor, battered ears thank you, too.


8 Responses to “(9) Thirty Days of Grateful Praise: Mufflers”

  1. betsyfromtennessee Says:

    Oh My .. I know how you feel… I’d hate that noise… We are a quiet community (with a noise ordinance) —so luckily, we don’t have to put up with non–muffler noise… However, when we are in Myrtle Beach during Harley Bike Week, we can really hear some NOISE… LOTS of it. Yuk…


  2. Plowing Through Life (Martha) Says:

    Beth, those motorcyles are a pet peeve for me! The noise that comes out of them drives me crazy. When one passes right by me, my nerves are shattered. I do believe that the people riding these things while making that much noise are completely inconsiderate of others. Yes, thank goodness for mufflers!

  3. Bonnie Jacobs Says:

    You know I’m a word person. My favorite new word today has to be “mufflerless,” followed as a close second by “mufflered.” Yeah, try to say “mufflerless” three times in a row without stumbling!

    I once lived out in the country between a busy highway and a busy railroad track, which ran parallel to each other and about a block apart, with my house perched on a slight rise between them. It was the loud-volumed cars that got to me. Yep, even more than the trains. They were louder than the trains. I could hear the boom-boom-boom of the “music” as the cars approached, from more than a quarter of a mile away, even with my windows closed. How can the drivers stand it that loud?

  4. CountryDew Says:

    What an interesting and unique post! Well done.

  5. birdsandbenjamin Says:

    You’re funny, Mommy–those flowers are saying, “Where arrrre we?”

    Reynolds Dorm at WCU at 11:00 PM–BOOM BOOM and several mufflerless Hondas–like the sound of a thousand silent jumping St. Bernards and tinnily low-throated growling chihuahuas.

    I hate that you cannot walk down the Tanawha Trail in Watauga County now without hearing those motorcycles.

  6. Jeff Says:

    Noise? Try F-16 jets flying at 500′ above the ground in Floyd County. Defending freedom, they say. I think it’s testosterone-laden jet jockeys trying to terrorize cattle and getting off by doing so.

  7. Ariel Says:

    Hehe…Miss Volvo is moving slowly back toward “atrocious automotive auditory assault,” since the patch they put on it to pass inspection is already rotting through.

  8. Ariel Says:

    “it” being the muffler, of course.

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