Okay, you’re probably thinking, “Gee whiz, Blue Ridge Blue Collar Girl, this is the weirdest Thing to Be Thankful For yet! And, if you don’t mind my saying so, girl, you’ve had a few weird ones already this week, heh heh…”
Yeah, I know. But, as it so often is, you don’t fully appreciate certain things until there is an absence of them in your life. And there is most definitely an absence of mufflers in my neighborhood.
It’s been that way since we moved here, but this summer has been the worst one yet for atrocious automotive auditory assault. I’m not sure why—perhaps teenagers out of school—but it would seem that the majority of motorists on the busy road in front of our house are mufflerless.
I’ve heard there’s a law against that in North Carolina, but it would seem that it’s never enforced. I’ve often wondered what would happen if I called the law and said I’d like to press charges.
“Yes, officer. I’d like to report an ear assault and battery.”
“Someone assaulted your ears, ma’am?”
“Umm…well, in a manner of speaking, yes. My ears have been…hurt.”
Yeah, I bet THAT would go over real well.
One of the guys Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man works with drives his Harley to work every day. He is one of the Intentionally Mufflerless, and the sound of his motorcycle is deafening. He wears ear plugs while he’s on the road, so he won’t damage his ears. He seems to not grasp the irony of this. Blue Ridge Blue Collar Man asked him, “What about the other people on the road having to listen to that?”
He said, “Well, this way, those people will hear me coming and they won’t drive their cars out in front of me.”
Umm…seriously, dude. Anybody could hear you coming from five miles away. And I don’t think that’s really necessary for vehicular avoidance.
Sigh. I feel sometimes like screaming at them, “Please, people…for the love of all things holy—GET A MUFFLER!” But somehow, I think that wouldn’t do much good. My words would almost certainly fall on, well…deaf ears. I’m kind of resigned to it, really. About all I can do is wear ear plugs myself. Either that or I’ll finally go deaf from the constant noise. Sometimes that seems like the only possibility for relief.
So I’d like to say that I’m thankful for, not only mufflers, but the many mercifully mufflered amongst you. I thank you with all my heart. And my poor, battered ears thank you, too.