Of “Evil Scissors” and “Nobler Modes of Life”

[Are these the “evil scissors” you were looking for?  (For more of this, go here.)]

In my last post, I alluded to the search engine terms shown in my statistics that bring people to my blog.  They are great fun to read and are the main reason I look at my stats.  Lord knows, I sure don’t get any pleasure out of that line graph they show where I often see, in one painful glance, the precipitous plunge of my plummeting blog statistics.

But the search engine terms are quite entertaining—sometimes humorous, sometimes happy, sometimes poetic, and sometimes poignant.    And sometimes, they’re real headscratchers.   For example, this one:  “rat collars; I put them on my rat.”  Now this one gives rise to so many questions.  First, which one of my posts did that phrase correspond to?   Do they really put a collar on their rat?  Why?  If so, do they take their rats for a walk?  Are there little rat leashes too?  If they do take them for a walk, what happens when they meet a cat?  Where do you buy rat collars?  Do rats really have a well-defined neck that a collar would work with?   Really, the questions are endless.

In the same “headscratcher” category, we have “evil scissors,” “snake recipes,” “family tree nuts,” and “babies playing poker.”  “Babies playing poker” certainly brings an immediate image to your mind, doesn’t it?  Can’t you just see the babies, with Budweisers in their hands, cigars dangling from their mouths, poker chips piled high, sitting in diapers around a table?

Then there’s the funny and whimsical—“leaf quizzical,” “money spiders,” “bee collision,” and “quiet stupidity.”  One thing’s for sure—I’ll take “quiet stupidity” over “loud stupidity” any day. 

But my favorites are the poetic ones.  “Nobler modes of life.”  “He treasures her like a poem.”  “The forever kind of love.”   What I like imagining are all the wonderful stories behind these searches.  Who are you, sweet man, who treasures your lover like a poem and loves her, no doubt, with the forever kind of love?  A nobler mode of life you live, to be sure.

But there are two that I get on a regular basis that almost bring me to tears.  One of them is “Mama died I miss her” or “Where are you Mama” or just “mama.”  The other is a single word:  “Alone.”  Or sometimes “Lonely.” 

For any of you that find my blog using that phrase, I hope you have found just a little bit of what you’re looking for.   If you are lonely, I hope that, somehow, reading my blog helps by showing you that you are not alone in feeling lonely.  It’s a universal emotion that very few of us escape.  And I hope that reading the kind comments of my blogging friends makes you feel just a little less alone, as it does me,  by helping you see, as I have, that there is goodness and kindness yet to be found in this sad, tired, old world.  And that I, and you, are not alone.  We are not alone.

14 Responses to “Of “Evil Scissors” and “Nobler Modes of Life””

  1. June Says:

    Hmmm. I don’t think my stats show search engine terms. When posting I almost never bother with Technorati, etc. tags. Do you? Your search terms certainly are diverse! And yes, the ones referencing loss and loneliness are haunting…

  2. blueridgebluecollargirl Says:

    June: I love that WordPress stats show the search engine terms. I didn’t realize that other blog hosts didn’t have that feature. I really enjoy it.
    As for Technorati, I’m a little embarrassed to say that I really don’t even understand it. I don’t get what their terms mean (authority?) or why the numbers go up and down in a seemingly arbitrary fashion. So, no, I almost never look at Technorati.

  3. wesleyjeanne Says:

    What makes me wonder are the image searches that bring people to my blog. I can’t see the terms they used to search for a photo, just the photo that comes up and the title I gave it. The photos that come up the most often: one of Paul that I titled “Handsome sweetie”; one of Owen that I titled “Beautiful girl” (that one makes me cringe a bit worrying about creeps); one of our temporary foster dog (the Plott Hound post is the most searched one ever on my blogs); and, believe it or not, one of a pile of pierogi at Christmas.

    I get a lot of South Beach Diet searches since we were on that a while (and now you will, too, since I put it in your comments).

    More recent searches on mine:
    “Things I’ve learned about motherhood”; “Raleigh expat”; “poopy baby”; “instructions to landscape spring”; “kinds of animals found in Blue Ridge mountains”.

    Not quite as poetic and interesting as your searches.

  4. blueridgebluecollargirl Says:

    And, by the way, just in the past hour, people used these search engine terms to find my blog:

    “tree bark spirits”
    “dragonfly tongue”
    “deep understanding of the human heart”

    I love it!

  5. blueridgebluecollargirl Says:

    Wesley: How funny that, of all your lovely photographs, that Plott Hound and Pile of pierogi would be your most popular photo searches! I love the “poopy baby” search! It is obviously related to the “Things I learned about motherhood.”

  6. June Says:

    I guess I’m hopeless…I just realized this morning that when leaving my comment yesterday I still forgot to change my URL! I’ve come back to do it. Perhaps in the next one this corrected one will show up automatically…

  7. June Says:

    Can you hear me LOL??? I screwed up my link even when I was trying to fix it! I’m blaming it on early morning fog 😀

  8. colleen Says:

    I hear this same story from other bloggers and think it’s odd that I can usually figure how my key word searchers came to my site. Some of mine are funny enough but not as far out as yours. There was a period when my spammers had the best names that I wanted to collect them and name grandchildren after them.

    I think the whole blog world activity has been slow in the last couple of months. Or is it just me and you? I regularly check and have noticed a downward trend. We got to keep growing the economy!!

  9. Going Crunchy Says:

    I see my stats go up, but it is also just more on my blog each day. There is just more there to search I guess.

    I look every once in a while, but don’t have a counter I pay for that records any more then the basics.

    One reoccuring search term that I get hits from is “whale poop” and “what does whale poop look like.” I have to giggle!

    I am promoting a special cause this week, so stop by if you have a chance. Shannon

  10. CountryDew Says:

    The most clicked-on image on my blog is a picture I put up over a year ago of my chewed fingernails. It kind of makes me cringe.

    You have much more fun search terms than I.

  11. Benjamin Says:

    Funny. If I had a blog, my terms would be something like: “Frankenstein computers” or “guitar named Lizzy.”

    Funny post; look forward to seeing you in two days!!!

  12. bluemountainmama Says:

    great post…. i also find search terms hilarious. one that happens daily is “dirty country girls”. i don’t think they find what they are looking for when they click over to my site. 🙂 the way google puts search terms together is strange…..

  13. A Trashy Kind of Love « Blue Ridge Blue Collar Girl Says:

    […] at the Google search phrases (listed in my stats) that bring people to my blog.  They range from the poignant to the silly, from the creepy to the poetic.  They make me laugh and cry and cringe and…scratch my head, puzzling about how certain phrases […]

  14. Benjamin Says:

    Haha! I’m going back over these, and I love them! I love how you play with every humorous shine in something once you find something funny.

    Rat collars…I put them on my rat!
    It helps with the fleas.

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